The Calm Life has charming articles designed to help you in the pursuit of happiness. Created on a whim from my own endeavors, I thought a place useful to share useful articles and advice with others. Living a happier, calmer life in times of trouble is key.
How I Got Calm
It wasn’t easy. I changed my entire life in one year, and it was a complete calming lifestyle change. I had to have faith in myself, and the courage to make changes. Later, a special person helped me really ground myself.
First let me tell you my story.
I had grown up in the busy area of Baltimore and bought my first house in the city. After 20 years in a home I loved, I went though a serious of one-in-a-million bad luck coincidences which spanned over the course of a few years, but compiled together weighed on me like a ton of bricks. The truth is not pretty. However, as they say, that which does not kill you makes you stronger, and it’s so true.
I had lost my mom to unknown circumstances in a Maine hospital. I remember celebrating with her that her small colo-rectal tumor was removed and her lymph nodes tested cancer free. Our relationship had always been strained, as she was an alcoholic. I left her that night and gave her a hug and kiss and went to celebrate dinner with my family. A few hours later she was dead, perhaps a bout of hypertension and unknown causes. My marriage was in shambles during this time and lack of support made it difficult to get through this. Add to this, my stepfather after 33 years of marriage drank himself to death out of sadness and died a few months later. My brother lost his mind over all of it, and we an emotional break. My brother became dependent on drugs and alcohol, and withdrew. (He would later suffer a stroke at age 36 that paralyzed him and changed his life. Now he is custody of his wife, who, thanks to a strained relationship with her, I never see. ) No happy endings so far.
My marriage troubles were getting worse. I was so depressed. I was stress eating and my weight ballooned. I found it hard to get out of bed thanks to the stress. I was on emotional meltdown. My only enjoyment were my dogs. If that wasn’t enough, I was brutally attacked in the backyard of my home, a stray pit bull starving dog jumping my eight foot privacy fence and killing my precious rescue doxie and attacking me. I spent everything I had trying to save her, but I couldn’t. My other dog was dying of cancer.
My marriage was in shambles, yet I was business partners with my husband. I could not do a good job at work because of all the fighting and my business was suffering financial issues. A man came into my life during my downfall, and pretended to be a best friend, and possibly more, but he turned out to be an even bigger disappointment. Beware, the grass is never greener on the other side.
The final straw for me was when my neighbor and friend was brutally murdered at his job (on a night off.) I could not think or concentrate. I was having panic attacks. I would look out the back door and remember the dog attack. I would go out the front door and remember my neighbor’s murder. The house I stopped loving as the only memories were fights with the husband. Broken memories.
My blood pressure was spiraling out of control, and now my own life was at risk. Something had to change. It is amazing to me that I did not use drugs (not even prescription) or drink myself to death during this time. If I would have done either, I am quite sure I wouldn’t be here writing this blog to you today.
The Answers Came
One day I woke up, and decided to take control of my life. I ended up two hours from my home, in another state. I fell in love with small towns of Hedgesville, Falling Waters and Spring Mills. It would be a two hour drive to work or home, but I didn’t care. I decided I won’t be working for the rest of my life at the business, it eventually had to end.
So I rented a storage unit (which turned out to be 2) and moved all of my things from my old home which was a big Victorian. I was so nervous. I put my house up for sale after some renovations, in a bad market. I knew I wouldn’t get what I wanted, but I didn’t care.
I asked the universe to help me.
I felt very strongly in my soul that I was meant to do this. Within two months, I had looked at tons of owner finance, and finally walked into my dream cottage in the mountains. This was an owner finance in this area, and the owner heard my story. He financed me at 3 percent and it was meant to be. I would of course have to downsize a tad. Nonetheless, the house sold soon after, and later I met a friend who helped calm my soul.
So now I share these stories with you.
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