Ten Steps to Calm

Let Go What You Cannot Change : 10 Steps to Calm Series

Learn to Let Go

To Find Peace and Calm, You Must Let Go. Image: © 2017 Cindy Fahnestock-Schafer 

This is a hard thing to grasp. Perhaps the old Serenity Prayer says it best, but this is an integral part of the process to being calm and serene. You must let go and give up issues that you have no control over. You must  let them fully go to the higher power. Whether you believe in the powers of  the universe, or God, or something alternate, you must give the problem up fully !  Later, I will talk about how to let go of unhealthy things, which may include vices, bad habits or relationships. But today, I’m talking about the fact that sometimes you have no control over the things you cannot fix or change.

These problems may include:

  • A death of a loved one
  • A tragedy
  • A relationship gone awry
  • A friendship gone amiss
  • Misfortune
  • Work issues
  • Financial issues
  • Something unfair

Letting Go Without the Why

Letting go – image from Google.

Don’t focus on the why.

I myself was so focused on the “why” that these negative thoughts took up all my energy and kept the issue on the forefront of my life. I would dwell on the issue, breeding negativity. Often times, times there is no answer for the “why” of something that happened.

Sometimes life’s lessons are painful and answers never come. I’ll show you an example of how negativity can drive you certifiably crazy.

For instance, when my friend was brutally murdered (in a nice area of town) I asked these questions over and over to the universe.  Why did my friend go to the club where he worked on his night off? Why did the man stab him when he wasn’t even involved in the fight? Why did this happen?  Why would he have had a fight with his mom before he left?  What am I missing ? What is wrong with this story? Why did the trial go so bad? Why were the jurors sleeping? Why did the man get off on “accidental” death when that offer wasn’t on the table? Why did so much injustice occur? Why should his mom lose her only son? Why did his grandmom die a year after from the stress?   Why?

My Father says Y is a crooked letter.

Those thoughts plagued my mind, my life, and my sleep.  The more questions I had, the more came.   I finally realized, I’ll never know why.  None of it makes sense. He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time, but now, Heaven has an angel.

The “why” for many situations may not be known at this time, or ever for that matter.  You have to accept that you may never know the why or reason of that event.  

Other circumstances are quite the opposite.

For instance, a lost love that breaks your heart, in time, this situation will prove to show you the answers. Down the road you may realize why something happened to protect you.  Perhaps he or she wasn’t good for you anyways.  The answers may come later.  You have to had a falling out with X in order to meet Y. Now you’re happy.

Healing happens when you let go.

The healing process doesn’t happen until you let go.  It can’t happen or start until you fully accept the circumstances – or the cards that have been dealt. Letting them go is critical.  Don’t ask why. Don’t focus on the negative.  Negativity breeds negativity, panic ensues and then you are off balance.

When you let go, amazing things happen.

You heal, and move on.

Life may not ever be the same again, but you get stronger when you heal and now you are ready for the next adventure in life.  Stronger, and ready for the next chapter.

Speaking of Why

Some things are purely coincidental. Life is full of uncanny coincidences. The image above I saw on Google and felt like writing a post about Acceptance and Letting Go.  Only after I wrote it did I do a google image search, and found many people use this same image to write about Letting Go. Perhaps minds think alike, a picture really is worth 1000 words. Here’s a great article on Letting Go, using the same image from Google! The post was written by Nora Barghati, that you should check out.  


Say one of these 2 daily:

letting go mantra to the universe

Dear Universe  today I give this problem up to you. Please take this problem out of my hands, and out of my heart.  Heal me! Show me the way to peace and serenity! I’m ready for you to bring new chapters into my life.


letting go prayer to God

Dear God,  today I give this problem up to you. Please take this problem out of my hands, and out of my heart.  Heal me! Show me the way to peace and serenity! I’m ready for you to bring new chapters into my life.  Amen.


© 2017 Cindy Fahnestock-Schafer (All Rights Reserved) Please share and spread the love.